


How It Should've Been

by ZeroNoons



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Domestic Avengers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Headcanon, Multi, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Protective Steve Rogers, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Trans Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 12:20:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20948240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeroNoons/pseuds/ZeroNoons
Summary: Progressively adding all my headcanons regarding how the story should've gone.Fury called Carol sooner, she kicked Thanos' ass before the snap, everything else is history.Domestic Avengers fluff/angst drabbles[more chapters to be added][ON HIATUS]





	1. A Very Stucky Welcome

He was beautiful. 

A lot had changed, of course, but his beauty shining through from the inside never disappeared.

In the old days, it was classical beauty. Fitting the time they lived in and the lives they led. Back then Steve would’ve called him handsome, and he wasn’t the only one. A mischievous twinkle in his eyes and a playful smirk on his lips, that was almost always his go-to look. Hair and clothes kept neat and always the perfect gentleman. 

After he saved him from that lab, there hadn’t been much that changed, only the circles underneath his eyes had gotten a tad more visible and his bright eyes had dulled just the tiniest bit. Not so much though that others noticed, and even Steve realized later that at first, he hadn’t, either. They were such small changes. Something had bugged him, but he hadn’t realized what it was until much later.  
But even though he had gotten back a little more tired version of him, he still held his own special charm.

The next time he saw him, decades later, he almost couldn’t believe it was actually him. Having thought he was dead all this time put aside, this time they weren’t just small changes. At first, he seemed like a whole other person. And maybe, at the time, it was true. Not just his hair and clothes; it was everything from the way he moved to the look in his eyes. They hadn’t been dull this time. They were burning, seething blue-molten embers filled with determination and a force that had chilled Steve to the bone. 

That had already been painful, that he didn’t recognize him. It didn’t hurt as much now that he knew the reason behind that. But what had almost broken his heart then was the newest change. When his gaze had changed from icy cold to that of a confused, scared child. 

That fight on the helicarrier, before he fell into the river, he would never forget. The way he had looked at him when he mentioned their old phrase shattered his heart into pieces. He hadn’t just been scared; he had been downright terrified. He had looked so broken as the terror filled his eyes. He remembered; Steve could almost hear the wheels turning inside his head. If only he could’ve reassured him that everything would be fine. 

Nothing would ever be able to describe the relief Steve felt when his old friend had finally fought his way to the surface. Fear and Uncertainty had been replaced by understanding and, if Steve dared to say it, hope.  
Sadly, that phase of his memories returning was also the one where his eyes were the dullest. Likely because with every good memory there were a thousand bad ones tainting his mind like poison, settling in his subconscious, slowly killing him from the inside.

Steve was so angry at himself for not noticing sooner. After everything was settled and Fury made the two of them move into the new Avengers facility to be closer to the rest of the team or, as Steve suspected, to be able to supervise him more easily, the night terrors began. Probably they had begun much sooner, but that was when Steve noticed, as he had made sure they shared a room to be able to care for him at any time. 

He would wake up to thrashing and screaming next to him, the most terrible sound he had ever heard; shaking him to the core, even more than the horror in his eyes had done. The sounds ripping him from his sleep weren’t always those blood-chilling screams, sometimes they were sentences. Sentences that broke his heart anew after he had placed it back together. 

Sentences like “No, please, stop” and “I don’t want to, don’t make me” among heart-wrenching sobs and broken cries and calls of “Steve, Steve!”, begging him for help that he couldn’t provide in the dark, brutal memories of years of torture which he was trapped in almost every night. 

It would’ve hurt less if someone had just ripped his heart out of his chest, he thought. The only thing he could do for his love then was hold him tight and whisper things like “It’s okay, I’m here, you’re safe, no one can hurt you”. It still felt like it wasn’t enough, never would be.

The nightmares’ frequency ceased with medication that Dr. Banner had come up with. Steve wasn’t comfortable at all with his love having to take meds to prevent his own mind from driving him insane, but it was the best option they had as of now.

Oh, how Steve wished he could take all his pain away. He hated not being able to do more, feeling so useless whenever he tried to comfort him or reassure him that things would get better. He couldn’t know that. No one could. But both of them had to accept that wishful thinking was the strongest ally they had.

Still, he hated himself for being so powerless when trying to mend his mental and emotional wounds.  
Just hours before he had been yelling at the starry night sky “Hasn’t it been enough?! What has he ever done to deserve this?!” 

Of course, no answer. He wasn’t expecting one, but he still craved it. Some justification for the hell Bucky had been put through.

His Bucky. His beautiful, beautiful Bucky. 

The more Steve thought about it, the more his heart began to ache, so he tried to violently shove those thoughts aside and concentrate on their real-life subject, laying right in front of him. His chest slowly rising and falling in an even rhythm of breath, the warm glow of the sunrise melting over his skin and letting strands of hair glow golden between the otherwise chocolate brown locks. 

He looked so peaceful while he slept, completely at ease. And he could be sure that Steve wouldn’t let anyone or anything disturb his few, precious hours of peace, wouldn’t let anyone hurt him. 

He finally got him back and he would do anything in his power to keep him safe.


	2. Learning From Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While half the team is on a mission, Peter has his own mission of showing Bucky the perks of the 21st century.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Part 1) 
> 
> I changed Loki's pronouns to they/them at some point, hope it's not too confusing.
> 
> (not proofread, sorry for any mistakes)

“Are you sure you can deal with them?” Steve asked for the millionth time, an uneasy feeling keeping him from walking out the door and go on the mission Fury had assigned him to.

“They’re kids, Steve. If I could prevent you from getting yourself beaten to death by bullies, I’m pretty sure I can handle watching over Harley and Peter doing… whatever the hell it is that nerdy kids do these days.”   
Bucky smiled at his overly concerned boyfriend with faked annoyance. “Now get your ass out the door and do your job, go save some people and all that jazz. Nat’s here, too. And Thor can handle Loki. We’ll be fine.”

“But-“ Steve wanted to interject but Bucky was quick to interrupt him, “if you argue with me for one more second you can sleep on the couch when you come back.”

Steve sighed, admitting his defeat. Past arguments had taught him that Bucky would not hesitate to go through with his threat. Instead he chose to playfully glare at his boyfriend, who was grinning triumphantly.

“Alright, you win. But just because I like cuddling.”   
Steve mumbled, coaxing a chuckle out of him. He had set a secret standard for himself to make Bucky smile at least once a day, so a chuckle was a double win. Seeing him genuinely smile was contagious.

“I know you do, from now on keep your cold feet away from me unless they’re warmed up.” Bucky scolded, trying to fight another smile off his face. No matter how much Steve had changed, teasing him was as much fun as it always had been.

Steve gasped in mock-indignation, “Well excuse me for wanting my boyfriend to comfort me, what a silly idea!” he turned to walk away, already knowing Bucky would stop him.

“Wait!” two hands, one metal and one flesh, hastily wrapped around his waist to stop him. “I didn’t mean it like that, you twit” 

Works every time, Steve thought, turning around to hug Bucky tight to his chest. He did feel a little bad but sometimes he just couldn’t resist. “I know you didn’t, punk.”

Bucky felt Steve press a kiss onto the top of his head. “Jerk” he mumbled, already feeling queasy at the thought of Steve leaving – not that he’d ever admit that, though. 

Steve had sat out the last couple missions offered to him in favor of spending time with Bucky. At first, Bucky was glad. When the charges against him had been dropped thanks to SHIELD acting as a guarantor under the condition that he stayed under the supervision of Nick Fury himself, he had moved into Steve’s room in the Avenger’s compound (Steve still wouldn’t admit he’d had something to do with that). 

In the beginning Steve stayed with him to help him adjust and restore his memory some more. He knew what it felt like to wake up and realize that decades had passed and you were thrown headfirst into this new, unknown world without having a clue where to start. It wasn’t bad at all, not having to fear for his life for once and being able to take all the time he needed to remember and rediscover himself.

Bucky was eternally grateful for Steve. Even trying to put his feelings into words felt wrong because they would never suffice. No matter how often Wakanda’s scientists deleted all traces of Hydra from his mind, he never felt as close to being himself as he did with Steve by his side. He cherished every minute Steve could spend with him.

And then the nightmares returned. Ever since he fled from Hydra, his nights were filled with distorted memories of torture and pain and the screams of the people whose lives he’d taken. No, Steve would scold him, whose lives The Asset had taken. Steve insisted on it. 

Sometimes Bucky felt as if the nightmares scared Steve more than himself, he was used to them after all. He could, should be able to deal with them on his own. He’d mostly settled into his new home, even tried to socialize with the others at the compound despite feeling like they were constantly judging him behind his back and didn’t actually want him there. 

After a while Bucky felt like Steve had sacrificed enough time for him. There were more important matters at hand now, people who needed Steve’s help more urgently than Bucky did. He was keeping Steve from his duty. He was holding him back. And he resented himself for being such a burden.

The worst thing was that Steve wouldn’t have any of it. He wouldn’t listen to Bucky, insisting that Bucky was his main priority and that that was okay.

It had taken a lot of discussing and persuasion to convince Steve that Bucky would survive two days without him. Of course the scared, selfish part of Bucky’s mind wanted him to stay but the rational part quickly silenced all emotions, an ability belonging to the Winter Soldier part of his mind he would never completely be able to get rid of.

It was okay. He would be okay. Eventually.

After a final squeeze Bucky softly pushed Steve away into the direction of the waiting jet, Sam and Clint already sticking their heads out of the open hatch to see what took Steve so long. “And don’t do anything stupid while you’re gone!” Bucky yelled after his boyfriend’s retreating figure.

Steve turned around, grinning widely at the familiar phrase, “How could I? I’m leaving all the stupid with you!”

Another smile from Bucky. Another warm feeling blossoming in Steve’s chest. 

After shooing him away, Bucky stayed at the door until Steve had waved goodbye one more time and the jet was out of sight.

\---

When Bucky entered the living room, he could hear Peter before he saw him. 

"Hey Mr. Barnes!" the boy smiled and waved from where he sat cross-legged in front of the couch on which Thor and Loki sat. Loki was wearing the Asgardian handcuffs Thor had brought with them, just like Tony had ordered. Everything seemed fine so far. 

"Hi Mr. Barnes" had Harley echoed, sitting next to Peter. 

"I told you boys to call me Bucky, right? It's fine." he couldn't help but smile at the kids. Babysitting had never been his cup of tea but these two were precious. 

"Okay Mr. Bucky. Mr. Thor just told us about his childhood in Asgard, it's very interesting!" Harley said, eyes wide and attentive. 

"Why don't you join us, Barnes?" Thor patted the couch next to him. "Sure" Bucky sat down, only now noticing the fixture in front of Loki's mouth, preventing him from talking. Now Bucky knew why it had been relatively quiet in here.

"Is that really necessary?" he asked Thor, pointing towards his brother. "I mean, it's not like he could escape with just the power of his voice… right?"   
Thor laughed, "That he can't, that is true. I guess we can allow him to participate. He was annoying, that's why I put it on." 

Loki threw his brother a viscous glare as he removed the fixture. 

"It was about time you took that damn thing off, I'm not a dog!" Loki snapped and whipped his hair back, pointedly looking in the opposite direction. 

Thor grinned, shaking his head. "He's easily sulky, probably even worse now than when we were kids."   
"I beg your pardon. I had and have every right to feel… offended." Loki leaned back and slouched down the backrest a little. 

“That you are quite good at, after all, dear brother.” Thor visibly tried to suppress a grin while Loki glared at him. 

“Mr. Bucky, your hair is almost as long as Mr. Thor’s now. You could braid it or something, I’m sure it would suit you!” Harley observed, looking between the two of them. His attention span was definitely shorter than their hair.

Bucky twirled a strand of his hair between his fingers, “I never thought about that…”

“Loki used to braid mine! He’s very good at it. Remember my 300th birthday, brother? It was right after mother taught him how to braid and I was his first model, he is… what do Midgardians call it? A natural?” Thor explained excitedly, his face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“After everything that happened, don’t think I will do that ever again.” Loki huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Oh please, you loved it! You always want to do the things you’re good at, I know it.” Thor teased.

Loki seemed to ponder, “Maybe… but you’re not the only one with long hair, you fool. I’m fairly capable of finding someone who will appreciate my efforts appropriately whenever I wish to perform that task again.”

“Someone like Mr. Bucky, for example?” Harley asked, delighted about that idea.

The trickster let a smile tug at his lips, “Indeed, small human. That would be an option.” He agreed, if only to jibe at his brother and make him feel easily replaceable.

Peter sat quietly, hoping no one would notice the watch on his wrist recording all this. He couldn’t help himself; it was exactly the kind of home-and-family-like atmosphere he wished to always be present in the compound. And he may or may not be recording scenes of Loki Odinson being a reasonable, slightly sarcastic but still lovable being that didn’t have an evil core at all. 

“Ooh! I’ve got an idea!” Harley suddenly exclaimed, “I wanna learn how to braid, too! Mr. Loki, you could braid Mr. Bucky’s hair and I could try to do Mr. Thor’s! Please?” he even tried his best puppy eyes.

Loki fought an internal battle which he lost just a few seconds later. He would never admit it, but he really started to get attached to Stark’s kids or minions or whatever they were. There was no harm in taking on things that used to be fun, right?

“Well, if Barnes trusts that I won’t do anything mischievous and my lug of a brother would be so kind as to free me of these ridiculous shackles, I don’t see why not.”

Harley’s pleading eyes wandered from the trickster to Thor and Bucky who exchanged a look and mirror-like shrugged their shoulders.

“Of course I cannot take these off completely, but a little more freedom should not be a problem.” Thor turned towards his brother, fumbling with a mechanism on the joined part of Loki’s Asgardian handcuffs and a few seconds later the rings were still intact, glowing with blue patterns and wrapped around his wrists to immobilize his powers but at least he could freely move his arms now and the restrictions looked like nothing more than high-tech bracelets.

“Couldn’t you have done that sooner? My arms are already sore.” Loki rubbed his wrists, glaring at his brother once again. 

“Forgive me, but seeing you struggle to open doors and other such simple tasks was just too amusing.” Thor chuckled, earning himself a jab to the ribs.

A few minutes later, Thor and Bucky were sitting cross-legged on the fluffy carpet in front of the couch with Loki, Harley and Peter sitting on said furniture behind them, braiding pretty yet complicated patterns into their hair.

At some point, Natasha had come in and quickly gestured for Peter to record the scene, which he was already doing, of course. Spider-Man and Black Widow weren’t Spider partners in crime for nothing, after all.  
She had proceeded to take a seat next to Peter, streaming Queer Eye on the TV as she was catching up with the latest season. That was Peter’s fault for not only getting her but basically everyone living at the compound to binge-watch the first few episodes with him and the rest was history.

Loki and Thor, who hadn’t been introduced yet to Peter’s newest obsession, quickly came to enjoy it, too, which led to Peter immediately showing them all of his favorite episodes.

“You Midgardians really make it so difficult. It just doesn’t make sense.” Loki had mumbled at some point halfway through an episode featuring a trans person.  
“What do you mean?” Peter paused the series, turning his attention towards the trickster who kept working on a stray strand of Bucky’s hair. 

“So many people here have such a problem with… what do you call it? LG…” 

“LGBT+?” Peter questioned, “Yea, many people here don’t get it, because it was considered wrong by society for a log time. Many are slowly getting used to it and learning, discovering their identities, but there’s still very much hate there, for many… in my opinion unjustified… reasons. That’s why I was so scared to come out to you guys… I was never sure how you’d handle me being trans…” Peter smiled gratefully at Natasha who had laid an arm around his shoulders during his small speech, side-hugging him.

“I’m still sorry you couldn’t feel safe. But I get it, and it’s okay now, маленький паук.” Nat smiled at her spider boy, feeling pride and protectiveness rise in her chest.  
“Thank you” Peter suppressed tears as good as he could, smiling just as brightly.

Loki would usually made a snide remark, but not about a topic like this. It reminded him of his own childhood, back when he hadn’t learned to purposefully control his shapeshifting powers yet, and so he began to speak.  
“It really is a shame that you humans don’t possess the power of shapeshifting, if you did, maybe your siblings would not be as ignorant as they are. Thanks to my powers, by brother got used to it quite quickly.”

Thor nodded, “and father and mother did, too. Even though sometimes you would change more times a day than I could count and, in the beginning, I often made mistakes.”

Spotting the puzzled and curious expressions of the others, Loki proceeded to explain: “In Asgard, our concept of what you call gender is similar to yours, but where your people oftentimes react with ignorance, it is a common thing for us. Mother wasn’t surprised at all that my gender changed – sometimes multiple times a day – as that is quite common for shapeshifters. We have the ability to make our appearance match our sense of self naturally, after all.”

“Remember the first time you shifted into your female form?” Thor interjected, “Mother was delighted! She helped you pick out dresses for hours. Even though she knew you would wear them either way.” A deep laugh bubbled up from the core of his chest.

“Yes and I, to quote the person from Parker’s series, slayed it.” Loki threw a glance in Peter’s direction to see him join Thor’s laughter, brightly and blushing. He felt good about it.

“To clear things up a bit”, he continued, “I happen to experience the whole spectrum of your concept of ‘gender’. Some days this, some days that. And I make my appearance match with that. Do you have a word for that, spiderling?”

Peter thought for a second, “I think so. It sounds like what we call genderfluid, it means that one’s gender changes over time.”

“Sounds accurate.” Loki nodded. It felt good to talk to someone like this, without secret plans and weapons being involved. He couldn’t remember the last time that had happened.

Harley had, despite his gaze staying fixed on his hands and Thor’s hair, listened intently and made sure to write down the new information later, as he did with all new things he learned and that had been quite a lot in the short time of living at the compound.

After his mother’s hospitalization Tony had sent people to take him in, arranged for the hospital bills to be taken care of and given Harley the room next to Peter’s so they could spend time with each other more easily as they had bonded over chemistry and physics quite quickly. His mother would have to stay at the hospital for a long time, but at least it wasn’t anything fatal and he was able to convince her to let Tony handle the bills, which they wouldn’t have been able to pay otherwise.

The only one other than Harley who hadn’t shown any kind of reaction was Bucky. The soldier was sitting there, shoulders stiff and expression made of stone, seemingly zoned out. 

Natasha was the first to notice the lack of participation. Ever since Bucky moved here from Wakanda, he’d been distant towards everyone but Steve. His friend, he clung to, but the soldier made sure to spend as little time in the presence of the other Avengers as possible, especially Tony’s. Though even for Bucky, this kind of thick silence was unusual.

“Bucky, is something wrong?” Nat asked, her hand hovering over his shoulder but not yet touching as not to startle him. Even though it was a completely logical assumption and plainly obvious, Nat was the only one besides Steve who had been explicitly informed about his by Dr. Banner himself diagnosed PTSD. She knew to be careful.

Bucky’s head snapped towards her, eyes still glassed over a little, as if his mind was still in the process of returning to its rightful place inside his head.

“Yea, I just…” his eyes wandered searchingly between the others, feeling slightly uncomfortable under their concerned observation but not enough to drop his gaze. A first for him.

“I didn’t know…” he tried, having trouble to formulate his thoughts and translate them into spoken words, “all these things… they’re…” the first tear escaped, “they’re okay now…”

His intonation made the last part of his sentence sound like a mixture between a question and a statement but the others didn’t need clarification on that in order to understand the message behind it.

“Yes, they are, Buck.” Natasha said quietly, fighting with herself not to let tears of her own escape at Bucky’s heartbreakingly relieved expression. She had grown fond of the soldier almost as fast as of Peter, though no one would ever trigger her protective side as quickly as the Spiderling did.

Upon Thor’s lost gaze, apologetic yet questioning, Bucky swallowed down the lump in his throat and explained his sudden mood change to the two Asgardians.

“You know how Steve and I basically missed seventy years of world history… at the time the both of us grew up in, transgender wasn’t even a thing. Of course trans people always existed, but in our time and environment, no one even considered that being ‘born in the wrong body’ was even possible. Those brave enough would cross-dress or do drag, as people call it nowadays. 

And liking someone of the same gender, well… was considered a mental illness. And if they caught you, you were put into jail or a mental institution. I didn’t realize until now that all that… is mostly history now. No persecution, no laws telling you your feelings are an illness. Not here, anyway. Ignorance, as Peter said, is still a thing, but I didn’t expect any different.” He wiped at his eyes, trying to push the onslaught of feelings back into the deepest darkest corner of his mind where he bottled it up in. 

“I never expected to live long enough to experience this freedom firsthand, is all.”

“If I’d known I would’ve told you sooner” Peter said, a seemingly never-ending flood streaming down his face.   
“Don’t worry, kiddo”, Bucky tried to comfort him, “it’s okay now. Even if you tried, I was cooped up in our room the whole time anyway. You did nothing wrong, got that?”

Peter nodded, “I kinda wanna hug you right now but I don’t know if that would make you uncomfortable” he said, looking lost and helpless, face wet and drowning in his giant hoodie.

Bucky smiled his best smile and hoped it would have the same effect it used to have back in the 40s.

“I would like a hug very much.”

Peter scrambled to his feet to drop down next to the Soldier and decided to throw all hesitance overboard as he wrapped Bucky in a hug so warm and comforting it actually almost knocked Steve off the first place on Bucky’s mental list of best huggers. Almost.

Bucky himself was quite surprised at himself. He had avoided almost all contact to anyone that wasn’t Steve but it had taken the Spiderkid just one afternoon to make the question whether to ‘adopt Peter Parker as a little brother or steal him from Stark as a son‘ form in the soldier’s mind.

Natasha quickly took a picture, no questions asked.   
A few hundred miles away, Steve Rogers’ phone beeped and he opened it to be greeted by a “getting along just fine” by Nat and an attached picture. It took every ounce of willpower he had not to send it to Tony with a snarky remark.

Peter spent the following days the six of them had the compound to themselves educating Bucky and occasionally Loki and Thor on 21st century earth things, especially LGBT+ related. The Asgardians joined them every now and then, Loki getting much more comfortable and less hostile towards the others and even started inside jokes with the soldier and the spider boy.

Peter couldn’t help but notice how Bucky always seemed to come back to the topic of dressing gender non-conforming. It seemed to extraordinarily amaze him, the concept of not having to about a piece of clothing being too tight or colorful or feminine.   
So as Peter wanted to get himself some new clothes anyway, he suggested that he and Bucky should go shopping together.

-

Peter knew the soldier wasn’t too fond of large crowds so he chose some nice suburban shops that not everyone knew about but were close to the compound.   
And luckily, Bucky had Steve’s motorcycle keys. They made a pact not to tell Tony or Stephen about it because if those two ever found out the both of them would probably never be allowed leave the compound, ever again.

“They sort the clothes after sizes and colors so it’s pretty easy not to dwell on stereotypes.” Peter explained as they entered the first shop. “See anything that sparks your interest?”

Bucky took a look around, still processing the wide range of clothing. He couldn’t remember the last time he had shopped for clothes but he was pretty sure it had been some time during the 30s. All the clothes he’d been wearing since he’d come back from Wakanda had been Steve’s who was happy to share so he hadn’t felt the need to get some of his own.

“Maybe you should get what you need first” Bucky answered, clearly a little overwhelmed. 

“Okay, I wanted to ask for your help anyway” Peter announced sheepishly. Only now did he notice that he’d grown comfortable around Bucky much quicker than the other Avengers but he’d wonder about that some other time.

Bucky looked at him quizzically, “how could I be of help?”

The spiderling averted his gaze, “well… I just thought… maybe you could help me pick some things out that… you know… make me look more… masculine? I guess? I don’t know, you don’t have to, though.” He stammered.

Bucky found it endearing. “I feel honored. No, really. I’m not sure if I’m the best for that job but I can try.”

Peter beamed at him, “Really? That would be awesome! I never know what looks good or not or if I’m overdoing it or- I’m rambling, right? Sorry. Okay. Let’s get this bread.”

Bucky chuckled at the phrase he’d also previously learned from Peter and followed the determined kid to the section that had his size.

Bucky Barnes turned out to have a great fashion sense. In the beginning Peter was skeptical as the soldier had suggested pieces Peter never would’ve looked at in the first place, but the more he tried on the more he realized how well the clothes Bucky brought him fit and how much he liked them.

After Peter had made full use of the budget that he had set for himself, both of them were comfortable and confident enough to pick out things for Bucky.

As enthusiastic as he was about exploring new styles for himself, Bucky still wasn’t used to it enough to go all out, but that was fine. He was just getting started settling into this new century.

They didn’t even have to go to the other stores as they had found everything they’d been looking for. 

Peter was carrying a few short-sleeved button-ups with nice patterns that hid his chest without looking ridiculously big on him and some pants which miraculously seemed to make his not-so-male looking hips disappear and he mentally thanked Bucky again and again.

Bucky had settled on a fluffy oversized turtleneck sweater (it was nearing November and he was sure he’d need it at some point), a tank top that revealed more than it covered and a pair of shorts that Peter had referred to as “booty shorts”, which Bucky still wasn’t sure about if it had been a joke or if that was actually what they were called. Either way he was happy with his items. 

They were just about to go pay for their stuff when Peter stopped in front of a section filled with Avengers-themed Christmas sweaters on sale.

The two of them looked at each other and grinned.  
Now they didn’t have to search for Christmas presents for this year.

-

Natasha was excited about the new development as Bucky and Peter showed her what they’d come back with. She even went and retrieved a shirt from her own closet she wanted to give Bucky. It was too large for her but she had kept it anyway, which turned out to be a good decision as it fit Bucky perfectly. 

He did feel a little exposed wearing a relatively tight crop top that spelled “menace” but Natasha told him he’d get used to it and assured him he looked great in it to which Peter agreed.

Bucky had grown to like her pretty quickly; he could see why she was one of Steve’s best friends. At the first glance an ice-cold assassin but if she considered someone trustworthy, her soft side came out and her words were honest yet kind.

In the meantime Jarvis had finished programming a new adaption for Loki’s handcuffs, making it possible for him to use his magic but the AI as well as the Avengers could easily block it anytime. So far Loki had only used it to shapeshift into the different versions of himself. Of course the others wouldn’t trust him for a very long time if ever but these were the first few steps towards something that merge into friendship.

Loki even honestly complimented Bucky’s new way of dressing as the soldier still accompanied by the spider kid and Natasha entered the living room to take a seat next to the – now female looking – trickster. The others got more used to it every time it happened. They even started to use neutral they/them pronouns for Thor’s sibling as they weren’t quite as good at guessing Loki’s gender by just looking at them like Thor was. 

At first, Bucky had been anxious about messing something up because he still felt so unknowing about all these new concepts but Peter was right as he told him that he’d quickly get used to it and Bucky really had not slipped up once.

“Sister, would you please be so kind and move that vase on the table out of the way so I can put these down?” Thor asked from the kitchen, carrying a tray of sandwiches Clint had once taught him how to make. Harley came over behind him carrying glasses and a carafe of freshly made lemonade.

Loki threw their hair back, sighing but doing as their brother had asked. They were still a little sour but that was probably going to stay like that for a while.   
“You made all that by yourselves?” Nat asked, trying not to sound too impressed.

Harley nodded proudly, “we finished it in record-time! Right, Mr. Thor?” 

“We sure did” he answered, dropping down on the couch next to Loki. “We wanted to prepare something nice for when the others return.”

“Oh shoot!” Peter said, his voice muffled between the bites he took out of two sandwiches at a time, one in each hand. “They’re coming back today, right?”

“Yup. Playtime’s over, kiddos.” Nat confirmed, snatching a sandwich for herself.

Loki sighed again, “They can take their time for all I care, having a few more days without The Obnoxious Tin Can and Captain Spoilsport surely wouldn’t hurt.”   
Bucky snorted while Nat tried to hide a smile. They would keep that to themselves.

“So what you’re saying is you like to spend time with us, sister?” Thor asked, smiling accusingly.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. All I’m saying is that you’re not as much of a nuisance as some others.” Loki crossed their legs, eyeing their brother’s sandwiches suspiciously.

Harley had started on his fourth sandwich, turning his attention towards Peter. “Do you think they’ll bring something home? Like a cool robot?”

The spiderling shrugged, “I don’t know. Maybe. If there’s enough room in the garage.”

As they continued to muse over what curiosities the other Avengers might be bringing home from their newest mission, Bucky’s thoughts drifted into another direction.

Steve would be coming back. When he had left, Bucky had never considered wearing things as he was right now. Steve had grown up in the 30s with him. He may have spend more time consciously in the 21st century than Bucky had, but what if he wasn’t used to it? What if he didn’t like it? What if he lost interest in Bucky if he was dressed like this? 

A small, rational voice at the back of his mind reminded him that Steve loved him. Unconditionally. And that he probably didn’t give a rat’s ass about what Bucky wore as long as it made him happy. Maybe he would even like it.

That voice however was quickly silenced by the deafening static of worry rushing in his head.   
He excused himself and went to go change. Steve didn’t have to know; he could keep this to himself.


End file.
